Muses to my ears

These are my all time favourites! I hope you find them interesting as well. Cheers!

This song particularly, I was a nasyeed vocalist during my primary school, I sang this song so many times. Only now, I realise the emotions behind it. 

Opinion Based: The unspoken culture of being a man

I read a confession at one public university's Facebook confession page. A man confessed that all men have watched porn in their life, frequency aside. I would totally disagree with the notion. Because in my life, I know a few guys who said they never, not even once, watched a porn movie. If they lie to me, then they lie lah, but I choose to believe them.

But going back to that random guy's confession, why did he confessed that? I think I could understand his position. It is widely accepted, or at least known, that men watch porn. Hence, the bias statement implying to all men (hasty generalization).

This for me, or at least I think, is a shared culture of the world about men. We watch porn. Hey, it's not okay but we watch it nonetheless. Why? Maybe because men are curious creatures. Everyone knows that, but no one does anything. Well, the ustaz ustazah will of course say something, hati jadi hitam etc. but that's the most they could do. In the end, it's up to oneself.

This culture is unspoken. We know it but we ignore it (some of us). But hear this, not all men watch porn, even once. Maybe the confessor mixed only with the typical men watch porn people. He just has not found that one man angel yet.

Is not it sad that men who watch porn are typical while men who do not are rare? Hmmmm, the harsh reality of the world we are living in today people.

What will the future brings us?

When a tragedy happens, life goes on, not even a time for mourning. That itself is another tragedy.

I can't say whether I am coping things well, or I just do not have the time to think what have I done. Becoming an important person in volunteerism takes me away from my own problems. There are people's problem that I have to worry more.

But I wonder, what will happen to my relationship, between Inchik S and me Are we going to be friends again? Or will he be mad at me? Or will we stay silence forever? I am not sure.

I hope one fine day, I could text him to lepak-lepak again, like how we used to. I know dreams do not often become true, especially in my case, but there is no harm in hoping. Hope is what makes us alive after all. So, I hope my hope does not stay as hope.

Mesej terakhir

"Hi."

"Dekat stesen Kg Baru."

"Apa?"

"Dang Wangi."

"Oh, nak balik dah ke? Weh.

Aku nak sampaikan kepada kau sesuatu.

Kau ni baik sangat. Sampaikan tak nak reject aku terang-terang. Tapi sebab tu aku mungkin lagi sakit hati kot? Aku rasa macam orang bodoh sangat. Berharap kepada orang yang tak nak dekat aku pun.

Mula-mula aku nak minta maaf sebab ganggu hidup kau macam orang gila Biasa la, orang yang suka kat seseorang memang macam ni.

Aku rasa aku perlu berhenti dari ganggu kau lagi. Sebab bila aku buat macam tu, bukan kau je annoyed, tapi aku sendiri pun sama. Aku dah penat berharap, dah penat menangis, dah penat sangat weh. Kalau aku terus contact kau, aku sendiri yang tertipu, beri harapan palsu kepada diri sendiri.

Jadi, aku nak sampaikan yang aku nak berhenti dari terus contact kau. Either kita jumpa ke, facebook, instagram, twitter whatsapp, semualah. Aku kena berhenti.

Dah lama sebenarnya aku fikir pasal ni. Kalau aku teruskan buat macam ni, mesti aku akan lost contact dengan kawan-kawan kita yang lain jugak. Tapi nak buat macam mana lagi, aku dah penat weh.

Aku tahu kau bukan kisah pun. Mesti kau rasa benda kecil je kan? Tapi bagi aku ni perkara besar. Jadi aku nak minta maaf kalau ada salah dan silap, halalkan makan dan minum aku. Aku akan block whatsapp, facebook, instagram dan twitter untuk mengelakkan aku dari terus contact kau, dari terus teringatkan kau.

Kalau kau ada jodoh dengan awek kau, jemputlah aku. Haha, insyaAllah waktu tu aku dah move on.

Aku bukan taknak kawan, aku cuma nak ruang untuk relax kejap. Maaf."

*************************************************************

Entah kenapa, terketar-ketar tangan ini mahu menekan butang "BLOCK". Satu badan jadi kaku, sejuk. I'm not feeling well. I just want to sleep. Goodbye everyone.