Lonely

I had a conversation with my mom recently
she told me when I was just a baby
I was good, I don't cry a lot
I play by myself, I don't disturb people
like other babies do
but mom was worried
she said babies aren't supposed to be like that
abnormal, that was her exact word.

Now I know
this being alone in a room attitude of me
was in me since, maybe since birth
mom confirmed it.

Attachment is one thing I hardly get.

Going out and spending time alone
I am used to that
in fact I love being alone.

However sometimes
being alone does make me feel lonely
especially a PLU guy like me.

To speak my heart out
it is already a tough thing to do
but I do want someone to listen to my problems
thought that I wanted to say.

Yes I have this blog
it consoles me
I poured some things I couldn't say in reality
into writings.

Nevertheless,
I need a breathing human
to give feedback
to say it's okay
or anything
and have a long talk.

Though how much I like being alone
the feeling of forever alone
it won't go away just yet.