Tuesday, 30 December 2014
"Tak ada calon ke?" "Kamu bila nak bernikah?"
Sekarang, I just don't have the thought of getting married. Parents belum mula tanya lagi. Ada la saudara mara yang mulut kurang insurans, kurang manisnya gatal-gatal mulut tanya. Biasalah, manusia ni kalau tak menyibuk memang tak sah.
Aku ada bincang dengan sorang kawan PLU. Dia cakap dia cemburu bila tengok kawan-kawan lain kahwin. Scroll instagram, gambar kahwin. Buka timeline Facebook, gambar kahwin. Dia nak kahwin katanya. Aku tanya kenapa. "Sebab aku kesian dekat emak aku. Kau tak kesian ke?"
Aku tergamam sekejap.
"Siapa tak kesian. Tapi getting married is something serious. For my case, I'm not going to sacrifice my life pretending I'm happy. What more, when you're married, you'll be attached to another person for your whole life. Aku tak nak rosakkan hidup orang lain pula."
Aku tahu ibu penting, Aku pun nak bagi zuriat untuk family aku, ibu aku. Tapi, itu lah...
Kadangkala tekanan dari orang sekeliling membuatkan kita melakukan perkara yang kita tak rela. This however is my current thought. Humans change. I can change my opinion as well. Let's see what future brings to me.
Monday, 29 December 2014
Saturday, 27 December 2014
The movie started with adolescence age of the main characters; Berg, Ijam, Toyu and Ali. It was confusing, not really interesting, funny but at the same time heavy with the 'WH' questions.
Mind you, I don't have the exact memories of the story line, words and more. One time only tengok, mana cukup sia. (Insert your dialectical knowledge here)
First impression was on things that were visible, the characters. They are diverse in look, normal typical Malaysians. No one looks extra good-looking (not saying Iedil Putra is not hot though) or perfect. All of them had some flaws in their characters, which are good. "Yeah, I can relate to this", I said to myself (tiba-tiba cakap sorang-sorang).
I laughed a lot at the beginning of the movie. The jokes and sarcasm, it fits into my young urban mind (konon!). However, as the plot continued, questions that first came to my mind started to unravel. For instance, I wonder what really made Ijam hated Ali so much like he was his sworn enemy? Or what did Berg kept injecting himself with? Or what happened to Ali during and after their school years? Because every time there's a flashback of their teenage years, Ali was absent, most of the time. And why does Toyu is the one who seems to be normal?
Ouh, and a question I asked Redza Minhat on twitter, where did Sofia Jane come from? She has very little introduction, background information or conflicts on her character. I wonder whether her character was created solely to reveal Berg's illness and to become 'water' when there's 'fire'? I'm not sure myself.
As the movie still playing on the screen, the messages hit me. It's not just about restoring their friendship or recording a film. It's about more of a process of liberating oneself from things that have been keeping them tied up. It's about one journey to find his true self. It's about freedom.Staying true, gitu. Message received!
Ouh ouh ouh, aku suka part bila shooting had to be canceled sebab it rained. Then Sofia Jane decided to go out and get wet beibeh! It was refreshing. Adults playing in the rain, dancing and just letting themselves go. I even whispered to my friend, "Seronoknya tengok diorang main hujan. Lama tak buat macam ni kan?" See how it affected audience? See how berkesan the scene was? Yeah, you got me.
I won't be touching on cinematography techniques, soundtracks, effects etc.because I'm noob at that. As long as those previously mentioned are good to my sensors and tak kacau jalan cerita and truthfulness of the plot, then okay lah for you.
Frankly, the ending was quite unclear for me. I guess the UFO is just a symbol of Berg's death since scene lepas tu dia dah tak ada. From the movie, kena tangkap UFO but I choose to believe he succumbed to his illness. I have right to my interpretation right? Hahaha.
THIS IS A RECOMMENDED MOVIE FOR EVERYONE. Boleh jatuh hukum wajib kalau aku ni orang ISMA sebab movie ni orang Melayu yang punya, eh? (Tak nak politik-politik sini)
Anyhow, you won't regret your money and time lah wa cakap sama lu sebab ini movie memang terbaik dari langit.
Wednesday, 24 December 2014
While doing that, I'm also recovering from fever, cold and cough. All three at once. And all I did was sleeping, eating and continue sleeping. Yeah, lame. Apa-apa saja.
Wish me luck.
p/s: my carry marks seem okay this time. Dah ada subject yang lulus dah. Sekarang cuma perlu strive for higher grade.
Monday, 8 December 2014
Second, for my friend who have been reading my blog only when you're with me, stop it. Malu okay. You got my permission to read this 'cikai' blog, but never in front of me. Do it in your room, alone. LOL.
Now, on Saturday 6th, I had a very hectic schedule. My club organised a running event, so we had to stay up the night before for preparation and stuff since the running starts at 7 a.m. (was delayed since it rained). I had to deal with police force for security purposes and the experience was not a pleasant one. I don't hate police officers generally, but I hate the person I had to deal with. So effing annoying, arrogant and condescending. Now, now, I want to let the memories fade away quickly.
Nevertheless, the event was awesome. It was our first time organizing such a big scale event involving many people. I could say it was successful, alhamdulillah.
The best part is, Inchik S came to KL that day! He took a bus and arrived at wee hour, so I had to pick him up at Pudu Central. I would do anything for him. Besides, like I said before, the whole crew and I were not able to sleep since we had to do some preparation. Picked him up and left him in my room for him to get some sleep and continue with my event.
Because I can't contained my 'gedik' feeling (haven't me him for a quite a few weeks), I ran back to my room as soon as the last finisher completed his run. I did not even wait until the prize giving ceremony. All because I wanted to meet my beloved Inchik S, gitew.
The reason he came because he wanted to buy something in KL. So I took him to The Curve as he requested. It turned out he bought a North Face bag, just a bag for RM495. Membazir betul.
Still, I was happy he was here. Since he was already here, we went to Dip n Dip and shared a Brownie Crepe. So romantic. I constantly put my hand on his shoulder, rest my head on his shoulder, walk while our hands grazed one another. Tergugat nafsu kot. I really do miss him, a lot. Being able to see him, and touch him made me feel so much gratitude. I don't care even if it is public or not, I just miss him.
We took selfies like a lot and he seemed okay with that. We even poses in some pictures. And I uploaded a picture to Instagram with a caption, "Dip n Dip with (emoticon with love eyes)." He said nothing! Hahahahaha.
I even waited with him for his bus back to Penang. Yes, he came for a one day trip since he had things to do the day after that. A bit disappointing but glad to hear he's happy and would love to do this spontaneous trip again. I smiled and am smiling.
Inchik S, you just make my crush on you goes to another level.
|Dip n Dip with Inchik S.|
|At IKEA, I'm cheaper than him.|
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Tuesday, 28 October 2014
Sebelum ni dah baca tapi tak perasan pulak yang kena tag. Hehe, sorry lambat post. Post kali ini aku rasa banyak akan mendedahkan personal stuff aku yang memang aku jarang cerita kt orang, especially friends. But since you guys are my readers, and you don't even know me in real life, so it's not a problem lah kot. Here it goes.
First time: First kiss
My first kiss was at the age of 13. A fresh, young and innocent lad was forced to a kiss by his friend. Staying in a dorm at a boarding school, I was sleeping when this friend came to me. Unknowingly, 'things' happened.
First time: First car
Even now, I'm still using my first car. A student like couldn't afford to buy my own, so I asked my parents to buy it for me. I wanted a motorcycle initially, but living in KL made my mom bought me a second hand car since she thought it's dangerous for riders, a Proton Iswara was purchased. Alhamdulillah, I have been using the car to go back and forth from KL-Penang with ease.
First time: First job
Right after SPM, these young lads went for job hunting. My friends and I went to this pharmaceutical factory and we got a job there as normal operators. My starting salary wasn't that much, only RM500. Very cheap one lor.
First time: First love
Relationship and love are different things. I have been in a normal, man-woman, relationship but I was never in love with her. I dare to say my first love is Inchik S. Never in my life could I ever like someone for so long, think about that person all time and so on. Yeah, he's my first love.
First time: First celebrity crush?
Nah, I'm not so into glamorous world of celebrity. I like them, but not more than that.
First time: First real boyfriend
NEVER HAD ONE!
First time: First best friend
A girl from my kindergarten, her name is NSY. Even until now, we're still friends though might not be as good friends as before. Still, she definitely fits this category.
First time: First teacher
My kindergarten teacher, Cikgu Kursiah! Yes, I remember her name and her mole above her mouth. She was kind, caring, patience and all the good teacher traits a person should have are within her.
First time: First movie at the cinema
It was after PMR. There were nothing to do after the big exam. The school arranged various lengthy and boring talk at the surau all frigging time. I was not rebelling against anything, but I was just trying new things. So, through front gate, my friends and I went out and go straight to the bus station and took a bus to the nearest mall. We watched Tangga 13, an Indonesia ghost movie which was not scary at all. Right after the movie, we went back to the talk which has not yet show any sign to end, and joined it again like a boss.
First time: First dormmate/roommate
I remember all my Terbilang 1 dormmates. There were 8 of us in a dorm. My life changer was in the same dorm as well. Yeah, we were friends but with benefits.
First time: First mobile phone
I was sleeping at home, relieving my tired body from a five days camp at Pulau Tuba. Wilderness camp was exciting nevertheless. Then my dad woke me up, out of sudden he took me to a shopping mall in Alor Star (we were living in Kedah at that time) and bought me a phone of my choice. It was a SONY ERICSON K300i if my memory is right. Yeah, so that's how I get my first phone.
First time: First competition I won
I was (not sure now) gifted in coloring. I won my first coloring contest during kindergarten. In fact, come to think of it, though I wasn't the best, I won most of the coloring competition I ever entered. Not bad CB, not bad.
So panjang lor!
Setakat ni jelah kot, tak nak membebel panjang. Mengantuk sudah.
Thursday, 16 October 2014
First of all, like I had previously posted, reality is not always beautiful. What you did in the past, will always has effect on you, either physically or mentally. And script writers, producers or who ever did this last episode of HTS did just that. In fact, it was done perfectly beautiful.
As this is the last episode, story line was about the characters were ending their last and final semester. No more high school, university life starts right after. Each characters were given a chance to redeem for wrongs they had done. Some were forgiven while some, well they just have to learn to live with guilt and consequences for their entire life.
Everything was subtle, the apologizing, the forgiving and so as the hatred (wasn't that subtle actually). Words are a medium to express thoughts, but through good acting (I'm not saying they are great though), emotions are delivered. The actors did just damn right. I cried quite a lot of time.
All in all, it's not a heavy plot. I believe viewers could easily relate themselves through these representations the the characters. Yes, some might not given the end they wanted because apparently the world is not a wish granting factory. Nevertheless, the end is applause-able.
Thank you for giving me such a wonderful season of drama. Hope to see more beautiful piece in season 3.
Wednesday, 8 October 2014
Tuesday, 30 September 2014
Friday, 26 September 2014
Monday, 22 September 2014
Sunday, 7 September 2014
Sunday, 31 August 2014
"Aku memang dah yakin dengan pilihan aku."
"Serious la hang yakin? Serious ni?!"
"Ha, betoi la. Hang tau dak, dulu waktu pak guard bank aku tu dok mintak-mintak no cenggey (awek) dan dok offer kat aku, aku terpikiaq apa tau? Awek aku tak buat kat aku macam ni, takkan aku nak buat kat dia macam ni?"
I looked to the front, stared blankly at the road. We just had our dinner and on our way home. That words of his felt like the biggest slap I had ever received. Reality finally hit. Tears started to build up and I was on the verge of crying. We were in the car, he was sitting at the back, I was at the front passenger sit and another friend was driving. I couldn't show my tears. Hold it back, that was what I did.
Even now, I am writing this at 6.30 am in the car going on a trip with family, I still have this feeling of disappointment. Tears are like waiting to burst out from these filthy eyes of this sinner. Because that is what I do best, crying my heart out in my silence.
"...Ya Allah, kau berkatilah hubungan kami, aku dan dia. Agar menjadi SAHABAT yang membawa kepada Engkau, bukan sebaliknya...."
A piece of prayer I pray every last sujud of mine.
Saturday, 30 August 2014
Aku hanya mampu tersenyum, Inchik S juga seperti memahami untuk tidak bertanya lebih lagi. Apatah lagi meletakkan aku dalam keadaan yang kurang selesa seperti yang aku rasa sekarang. Seperti mana tiap-tiap kali soalan seperti itu dituju kepada aku, dibiarkannya tergantung dengan sekuntum senyuman yang punya maksud mendalam.
Thursday, 28 August 2014
Friday, 22 August 2014
Thursday, 14 August 2014
Di atas adalah jenis kondom yang aku beli. Murah, RM3.40 sahaja. Ceritanya begini, hampir sepuluh minit aku belegar-legar di luar kedai 7eleven berdekatan kawasan asrama aku untuk membeli kondom ini. Sebabnya adalah untuk menanti waktu yang sesuai di mana kurangnya pelanggan. Kuranglah juga malu yang aku akan alami.
Bila waktu yang aku tungu-tunggu tak sampai juga, aku beranikan diri, masuk ke kedai dan terus ambil yang mana ada di depan mata. Kekalkan muka selamba dan bayar. Ikutkan hati nak yang mahal sedikit dari yang ini, jenama DUREX kalau boleh, tapi nak buat macam mana kan, takut sangat. Terima jelah.
Semestinya aku dah buat praktikal dengan benda ni.
Dan sebenarnya, aku ada beritahu Inchik S tentang ni. Biasalah lelaki muda, innocent and curious, disuruhnya aku simpan untuk dia. Teringin juga nak tahu katanya. Hahahahahaha.
Nanti aku nak beli lagi. Beranikan diri sikit dan beli yang aku betul-betul mahu seteah dipilih.
P/s: btw, ada kondom yang percuma vibrator for male. Ring type vibrator kot.
Monday, 11 August 2014
Friday, 8th August 2014.
I volunteered myself for an event by kemenerian belia or something, Asean Cultural and Food Festival. I was told that the event was part of a three days pre-conference of Asean youth leaders, something like that. For me, it's the food festival that attracted me the most. Took so little pictures and a few selfies.
As its name suggest, foods from Asean countries were prepared along with our local food. Well, let me just say that those food are not for my taste bud. Picture below is one whole Kambing Golek being prepared. As a volunteer, we got to eat all food earlier than visitors since we had to 'work'. Frankly, there were not much works to do, all I did the most was ate, lot of eating involved. And I must say this, our local food are superbly great.
Sunday, 10th August 2014.
Raya Open House! Drove all the way to Shah Alam for a friend's open house. Again, forgot to take pictures, not even one. My friend, she prepared a lot of food, literally a lot. There were Nasi Tomato, Nasi Dagang, Nasi Himpit, Bihun Sup, Laksa and variety of desserts. She even had Kambing Golek as well. Unfortunately, it was gone when I arrived. Kambing kan, siapa tak nak makan?
I actually attended a peaceful rally at Taman Tasik Titiwangsa before I went to her house. It was Bulan Kemarahan Ummah, a rally condemning Israel's attack on Palestine and showing our support for Palestine of course. This was the reason why I was late and missed that mouth watering kambing golek.
While at Shah Alam, a friend's house is at Klang so why not gave him a visit since the distance is not that far. Had macaroni, his own made biskut raya, which was so very the sedap, and pisang kaki. Even with so much food I consumed, dinner still needed to be taken. Initially, the plan was to go to Wangsa Maju to have Burger King, then I noticed an interesting restaurant next to it, Pop's Eatery, Comfort Food. Well the tagline sure does well thought because the food is comforting, but not for hungry people because of its very small portion. I had spaghetti bolognese which yeah, okay I guess. It's a bit dry, maybe it's just my taste to have it cair, the gravy. Nevertheless, the food was good. I think it is a local brand cafe, worth to support. Here's its facebook link.
11th August 2014
Had nothing to do today until a friend of mine ajak me to accompany him for a quick shopping of hardware. Tiba-tiba nak beli hammer and paku. LOL.
On our way back, we saw this coffee shop, Espresso Lab. Why not gave it a try and in we went. Made a quick Google-ing and found out that this is an international brand. It was a bit pricey. My drink, Iced Caramel Macchiato cost me RM15. While my friend had his Hazelnut Frappresso for the same price. They also have cakes and pastries. Prices are higher than Secret Recipe I should say. The cafe had astonishing and relaxing interior decor. I could only think about bringing my novel and spending an evening there, one hand holding a coffee and another a book. If you want to find other outlets, check it here.
Honestly, I am trying to loose weight but this festive season is making me to add more. Pfffttt..
Monday, 4 August 2014
Inchik S, penat dan keletihan maka tertidur dalam perjalanan pulang setelah kami menonton The Fault In Our Stars, kedua kalinya bagi aku. Dengan cota di genggam, entah apa yang dimimpinya.
Tiket bertarikh 10 November 2011, telah hampir tiga tahun. Seorang kenalan yang bekerja di TGV memberikan tiket percuma kepada aku dan Inchik S. Hanya kami berdua. Walaupun cerita entah apa-apa, tapi masih gembira sebab dpat melihat wayang hanya berdua. Gatal. Haha.
Alhamdulillah, hari ini aku gembira. Kesampaian juga hajat aku.
Saturday, 2 August 2014
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
It was absolutely brilliant. My tears went down like a stream of river, non-stop. Luckily the time I watched this movie, it was Tuesday afternoon, so seats were empty. I wanted to sobs so hard while watching it, but thinking there were few people behind me, I had to hold my sobbing. Crying without sound is so unsatisfying.
I have read the book but never once I cried. The movie blown me away. I think I need to re-read the book, immerse myself into Hazel Grace Lancaster's world and be prepared to have the side effect of dying, depression. I am going to intentionally depressed myself with this book, a good kind of depression. LOL.
Go and watch the movie! And read the book as well.
p/s: Asked Inchik S to buy me ticket for this movie. Yes, I want to watch it with him, hope to cry with him and of course am happy to see this movie again. (hope he buys it though)
Monday, 14 July 2014
Bank Islam: 12029010047880
Bank Rakyat: 220806195922
Monday, 30 June 2014
Kali ini, pertama kali aku berada di kampus menyambut Ramadhan Kareem.
Sedih sangat. Kenapa?
Berbuka seorang diri di dalam bilik tanpa seorang pun teman. Bukannya aku tak punya kawan, tapi malas untuk ke bilik rakan-rakan, tak kenal roommate mereka dan sebagainya adalah alasan aku berbuka di bilik seorang diri.
Perasaan sewaktu berbuka tadi, sunyi, forever alone.
Teringat sewaktu zaman asasi. Ya Allah, gembira sangat waktu tu. Bazaar Ramadhan hanyalah sedepa dari kampus. Itu pun kalau terpaksa berbuka di kampus. Kalau di kolej, betul-betul sebelah dinding kolej kami. Makanan yang selalu aku beli, aku ingat lagi, Nasi Ambang atau Nasi Kerabu. Sedap yang amat!
Bilik aku meriahnya tak ingat dunia. Tak perlu kami ke kedai, ke tempat hiburan atau sebagainya. Lebih selesa berbuka di bilik bersama rakan-rakan. Ahli bilik semuanya 6 orang, ditambah pula rakan-rakan bilik lain yang tumpang sekaki memeriahkan waktu berbuka. Sepanjang Ramadhan, ahli forum yang sama ramai, sama meriah berjaya kami kekalkan. Seronok.
Cara kami bergembira sedikit jelik. Menganjing masing-masing ahli forum. Tak payah nak terasa hati sangat, sebab kami tahu semua sekadar melawak. Masing-masing ketawa sesama sendiri. Ambil peluang yang ada untuk balas dendam, dan sambung ketawa lagi. Kuat gila kalau sekali kami mula ketawa, sumpah!
Ahhh, rindu zaman asasi. Tapi, tak tahulah apa jadi. Tamat zaman asasi, masing-masing ke institusi pelajaran tinggi yang berlainan, atau bertukar ke kos yang lain sekalipun di tempat yang sama. Kami mulai renggang.
Apa pun, aku gembira kerana pernah ada memori itu. InsyaAllah, hari ini nak cuba berbuka di masjid. Mungkin suasananya lain dan mungkin membawa sesuatu yang lain juga. Selamat berpuasa para pembaca. Selamat juga menyambut Ramadhan Kareem.
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Sunday, 22 June 2014
Sunday, 15 June 2014
Friday, 13 June 2014
- depressed mood most of the day
- markedly diminished interest of pleasure in all or most daily activities
- significant weight lost or unusual increase or decrease in appetite
- insomnia or hypersomnia
- psychomotor agitation or retardation observable by others
- fatigue or loss of energy
- feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
- difficulty maintaining concentration or making decisions
- recurrent thoughts of death or having suicidal thoughts, plans, or attempts